work/love redefined

work is love made visible
- khalil gibran

so, over winter break i noticed this quote written on a post-it placed on my sistamaestra liza's laptop. altho on winter break and extremely anti-work at the time, the quote caught my eye and i decided to text it to myself. i just thought to myself, that makes sense, and it wouldn't hurt to keep it somewhere i could come back to.

it's weird how simple things like this can suddenly return to you with such significance.

now that i'm back to work, that i'm suddenly in this metaphysical soul-searching tip, and reflecting about what love truly means as i read paulo coehlo's by the river piedra i sat down and wept, and pondering the new year and my soon-to-be saturn return (altho i feel like i'm already hella up in it), gibran's quote has really sunk deep with me.

when i go to work and i'm staring at a room full of students who i'm not ready to interact with quite yet, i try to remember that i've chosen this work out of love. when i get frustrated at the lack of skills and self control of my students, i try to remember that it takes love to overcome my bitterness and know that it takes love to realize sometimes it's not my students' fault -- sometimes it's the system they've been put in. and then suddenly, on a day where i kept sighing from not really wanting to be at work, or trying to pump myself up to get through the day, a student comes inside my classroom during lunch and just sits by me. not to talk about anything in particular. just cuz she feels comfortable sitting by me with a simple pause and then smile, and then "hey miss, how are you doing?" and as i'm tryin to read my book during lunch break, more students come in, some of them start unexpectedly practicing their freestyles and rhymes for an open mic field trip i'm taking them to tomorrow. another student comes in and shares a story she wrote on her own about her life, just because. not just because it was an assignment. just because she wanted to share. and i realize, sometimes when you put love into your work that love can unexpectedly come back. in simple ways like this.

and i'm slowly realizing that love isn't easy or logical. it ain't romance. that inversely, for love to truly come about, you need to fully work at it. whether it's loving myself enough to go through a 10-day cleanse, which i'm starting on saturday. it takes work to know what's good for you, what's not healthy for you, and then to follow through and really cleanse out your entire system -- physically, mentually, and spiritually.

it takes work and discipline and honesty to love others and to be open to love others. and even to love yourself.

so, when i'm feeling resistant to work, to love, to others, i'm going to try to keep this quote in mind.

and, i hope a year from now when a read this post, i can just laugh at myself for how earthymetaloopy i sound... yeah.